In my opinion, some Americans (not all) do not want gays to legally marry for a few reasons:
1. It would threaten the American family structure, as defined by those who believe the old-fashioned way of life is infallible,
2. Prevailing stereotypes,
3. Unfamiliarity with gay family lifestyles,
4. Voice from the church and politicans.
America has always had different groups showing up throughout history calling for the “old way” of life. Traditional, I think they call it. Take America Back. Family Values. Gay marriages do not fit into any of those category.
When people are unfamiliar with gay family lifestyles, they give credence to stereotypes. I was guilty of this before I knew any better. I remember looking at a photo in Jet Magazine in the 1980’s (the height of the AIDS epidemic and men wearing eyeliner) about two men who had married in some sort of union. It was more a mockery of such. The headline read: Two Men Marry. There was a seemingly “masculine” one, and then, there was clearly the “feminine” one. The feminine one had on African garb – dashiki, turban, beads – hips slanted, smiling like the cat that swallowed the canary, with his wrist bent to show manicured fingernails painted in red and a diamond ring. Underneath the headline it read: “But the bride took off with another man during the reception.” Underneath that were statistics of how many gay men had reportedly died of AIDS. That one picture scared many people, including myself, only because I had nothing to compare “gay life” to.
I recall a popular television Evangelist saying God was cursing gay people by infecting them with AIDS. God was infecting gay people with AIDS? Well, of all the nerve. He said homosexuality was a sin, and “they (gays) are going to reap the wrath of God.” People actually believe this type of foolishness, and it resonates among those who are always crying about homosexuality’s threat to family values and procreation. Too bad it’s too late to ask Michael Jackson. He “procreated” without a woman in sight.
A few years later, that same Evangelical pastor was “outted” by a Latin lover from Mexico or Puerto Rico or someplace like that. There were pictures of him on a white sandy beach with aqua-colored water – just smiling; just racking up “sins” left and right – boy after boy after……..boy. He doesn’t support gay marriages or civil unions, but he obviously digs “boys.” He is one of many hypocrites whose influence and words fan stereotypical resentment against the gay community. Many politicians and preachers stand at pulpits and podiums scaring people into believing homosexuality is God’s number one sin. When you throw God into the equation, people tend to listen no matter how dense and lame the context may be. It is my belief these people assume that legalizing gay marriage can be compared to opening up the flood gates. As if gay people have no preference in their choice of mate (other than being the same sex), and will begin turning straight people into instant homosexuals (just add a little water). Not true. Gay people have a Characteristics List as well. Just because you are the same sex, doesn’t mean the same sex is interested in you. It’s so twisted.
Some of the biggest gay bashers have been “family value” men, who have been outted by gay lovers: Pastor Eddie Long (there’s a joke there, but I’ll pass), Pastor Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, and the list goes on and on. I think one or two of these hypocrites went to some kind of gay rehabilitation center – for straight-gayaholics (I made that word up). Michelle Bachmann’s husband operates a “gay clinic” designed to turn homosexual men into heterosexuals, as if it’s a learned behavior, but nothing a few million bucks from the government can’t cure. Crazy.
I believe gay marriages are equally vulnerable to instability as straight marriages. During the San Francisco Gay Marriage Marathon in 2004, two of my male friends got married. Over the summer, my best female friend got married as well – to a man. Neither marriage worked out. The marriages did not dissolve due to sexual identity. They dissolved basically for the same reasons: lack of communication, changes in behavior, and too fed up with one another to save the relationship. Oh, yeah…and cohabitation. Gay folk are not immune to “straight” emotions, behaviors, actions, and reactions. As a matter of fact, the gay men’s home was much more stable and loving than my female friend’s. When there was a disagreement, one of them would say: ‘We’ll discuss that later.” At my female friend’s home, her and her husband would throw daggers at one another – in front of company. That’s so rude.
I support gay marriages to the hilt, and the reason should be obvious: civil rights. I have the civil right as an American to be protected from and against discrimination based on my sexual orientation. I have the civil right/human right for my household to function in same manner as my siblings (guess who’s coming to dinner?). I work, I pay taxes, I vote, and I used to go church until cable television came along. Nowadays, I can catch a sermon from Dr. Creflo Dollar anytime during the week and satisfy my religious obligations, if I choose. But I choose not. I am sick of opinions, condemnation, deceit, fear mongering, and restrictions. There is clarity in silence. As an American citizen, I have the constitutional right to “liberty” and “justice” – right? Well, that’s what they say.
To which she wrote: "Always entertaining. THANK YOU."
